Now he’ll robo-sign it for $600.
Over the weekend, Dylan did one thing I’ve by no means seen him do earlier than: Handle his followers instantly on social media in a signed assertion.
Pushed to the brink, I assume, from the unhealthy press after charging $600 for “signed copies” of his new ebook “The Philosophy of Trendy Tune.” Turned out his “signature” was only a duplicate.
Followers who doubted the authenticity took to social media, after spending $600 on a ebook you should buy for $28.93 on Amazon.
The ebook launched in early November and got here with an authenticity certificates from Simon & Schuster, based on Pitchfork. On Nov. 20, the publishers issued an apology and refund.
On Nov. 26, Dylan’s Fb web page posted an announcement from him:
“I’ve been made conscious that there’s some controversy about signatures … in 2019 I had a foul case of vertigo and it continued into the pandemic years. It takes a crew of 5 working in shut quarters with me to assist allow these signing periods, and we couldn’t discover a secure and workable method to full what I wanted to do. … The concept of utilizing an auto-pen was urged to me, together with the peace of mind that this type of factor is completed ‘on a regular basis.’ … Utilizing a machine was an error in judgment.”
I really feel for him with vertigo — although I’m not fairly certain the place the “crew of 5” slot in that individual excuse. It seems like he’s throwing too many rationalizations on the hearth there.
However the backside line is the underside line: Want to make use of an auto-pen? Cool. Don’t cost $600.
I had vertigo, then OK’d the thought to cost $600 for an auto-sign, isn’t just “the canine ate my homework” — it’s, “I used to be instructed I may feed my homework to the canine and that it could be no downside.”
Let me say right here that Dylan has near-mystic standing with me. I feel he’s an Einstein disguised as Robin Hood, endlessly fascinating. I can examine what he does like a birder watching a red-winged blackbird.
As a result of “Bob Dylan” doesn’t exist. He’s delusion and thriller, rigorously crafted by a Minnesota child with huge goals. Robert Zimmerman poured himself right into a Woody Guthrie cocoon, and “Bob Dylan” broke free and has been in perpetual metamorphosis ever since: Nation crooner, one-earringed rocker, thriller man in pinstripes. He would possibly do an advert for girls’s underwear. Weld iron gates. Inexplicably put on a wig to Newport People Fest or shout-out Dunkin’ Donuts on a ebook dedication web page.
I laughed all through all of it: Basic Bob!
Whether or not he’s spinning yarns straight-faced to the digital camera in a Martin Scorsese film about him or skipping the Nobel Prize ceremony, there’s a mischievous child in there, guffawing into his hand whereas we slip on his banana peels and journey down his false-bottom flooring. He lives by no man’s code save for this: depart ‘em guessing whenever you go.
I really like him for it. When it comes time to have fun him, I’ll lead the parade.
However knowingly utilizing a machine and no apology till you have been caught? I can’t snort that one away.
The ebook is good — the prose is basic Zimmerman bebop and humor, a bit Tom Waits, a bit Larry David. However nobody wants a $600 copy. As a substitute of turning into one thing you may learn and revel in, it now turns into nothing greater than a totem. A factor somebody doesn’t contact or learn or absorb, simply hopes to flip on eBay.
However it takes gall to cost that a lot for signed copies. The ego-trip is half the sting. You will discover signed copies of novels in any bookstore. David Sedaris is not any monk or pauper, however go to a studying and he’ll discuss to you face-to-face for 5 minutes earlier than signing one thing outrageous, personalised, completely unprintable, and in some way good — totally free.
As for machine-made autographs, I’m not mad, I’m dissatisfied.
I’m harm that Dylan thought he may get away with it, that he thought it was an OK factor to log out on, even when he was instructed “this type of factor is completed ‘on a regular basis.’ ”
I’d prefer to consider my hero is best than that.
Sure, I do know: The Dylan masks adjustments by the day. Dylan in 1963 shouldn’t be the identical individual as he was in 1973, or ’75 or ’82 or ‘09.
However ‘66 Bob had it proper: You don’t want my autograph. In case you wanted it, I’d give it to you.
Lauren Daley might be reached at [email protected]. Observe her on Twitter @laurendaley1.